“Man ordinarily lives in loneliness. Loneliness is a black hole, a darkness, a frightening negative state almost like death … as if you are being swallowed by death itself. To avoid it, you run out and fall into anybody, just to hold somebody’s hand, to feel that you are not lonely. Nothing hurts more than loneliness.
The day you decide that all these efforts are failures, that your loneliness has remained untouched by all your efforts, that is a great moment of understanding. Then only one thing remains: to see whether loneliness is such a thing that you should be afraid of, or if it is just your nature. Then, rather than running out and away, you close your eyes and go in. Suddenly the night is over, and a new dawn … The loneliness transforms into aloneness.
Aloneness is your nature. You were born alone, you will die alone. And you are living alone without understanding it, without being fully aware of it. You misunderstand aloneness as loneliness; it is simply a misunderstanding. You are sufficient unto yourself.”
I stumbled across this incredible quote attributed to Shree Rajneesh, also known as Osho. (This is an amended version, but read the full quote here). It’s a raw, honest and beautiful perspective on something that we all feel, but are often too afraid or ashamed to admit to.
I get feelings of loneliness pretty often. I don’t think that my need for others will ever completely disappear, it’s just too ingrained in my nature. Seeking out connection with others is a core part of who I am, and I certainly don’t feel as though I am sufficient unto myself.
But I don’t fight it anymore. I am no longer scared of being alone, and I’m secure in my own company. I’m better able to accept that there won’t always be someone there. I was born alone, and I will die alone. Accepting that reality allows me a peace of mind that I never could have had when I was too busy fighting it.
Letting go of your fear of loneliness is the first step to being able to truly connect. Once you leave that fear behind, you end up with a deep appreciation for the connections that you do have, and for the people in your life that help to make it worth living.
(Feature picture Source)