There are seasons
That are abundant in blue skies
And awash with a mellow sunshine
For days on end.
They make you feel radiant
Like nothing can hold you back
As if you’ll never come down from the high.
And there are seasons
That are dark, violent
Wrought with raging storms.
You are caught
In a never ending tempest
That soaks your core
That drowns your essence
That leaves a chill within your soul.
Oh, you know it’s raining
But you don’t notice the flood that’s rising
Creeping higher, insidious
And slowly engulfing you.
It gets harder to move
It gets harder to live
But you don’t know why
Until the ground suddenly gives way,
And you find yourself stranded
In the middle of an endless black sea.
You are sinking.
Enough to know that you’re drowning
But not enough to put you under for good
Not enough to end the misery
And not enough to numb the pain.
Every effort is useless.
Misery. Confusion. Frustration.
Complete and utter exhaustion.
A sea of desolation
And absolutely no way out.
They cruise around in boats.
They wave at you from the wharf.
They lounge about in the sunshine
That you can’t even feel.
With the best of intentions,
They offer some really shit advice.
“Have you tried paddling?”
You’d need a boat for that.
“Just keep your head up”
As if you’d never tried that before.
“I liked you better when you were dry”
You liked you better then too.
Why can’t they see
That you’re doing everything you can?
How badly you wish things were different?
How hard it is just to keep your head above water?
To resist the urge to give up
And let your body slip under?
It’s just a bit of drizzle
And some don’t even need an umbrella
That you might not be coping with the rain
As well as everyone else.
Bad weather happens to us all
But you could never have prepared
For the storm that tore off your roof
Or the sea of rising water
That engulfed everything you once held dear
Or the torrential downpour
That washed away every facet
Of who you used to be.
What it feels like to bask in the sunshine
What it feels like to enjoy a blue sky
And what it feels like to be dry.
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